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Do You Know….

the pain u cause give me anxiety,

you say words without a thought process behind it,

you got me feeling like you mean it,

picture me screaming,

do u know u give me anxiety,

will you catch me if I faint,

Do you know that just leave me in pieces,

do you care about the glass you left shattered,

the picture will never be whole,

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I am a one in a life time deal but you couldn’t notice,

live your life telling tales,

saying you was there , and your love was real,

do u know I know your love was never real.

Because I couldn’t dream with out having a nightmare. 

How to recognise symptoms of PCOS *

This Great information to know, and learn more about. Ask I haven’t had much problems with my period. I also find it very important because, I will like to have children someday.

PCOS, polycystic ovary syndrome, affects 1-in-10 women, therefore making it a common reason for infertility. Its well worth knowing the symptoms of the condition and making an appointment with your doctor if you suspect you may be affected.

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PCOS: Anti- Inflammatory

I been changing my diet lately, because of my PCOS. Having no dairy, no gluten, no junk food especially, no alcohol, or white carbs.

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It’ s very hard starting off, but I can feel my body getting use to it. I am very happy to have noticed this early before, any other side effects took full effect.

 

Of course I really notice because, I start growing fine hair on my face(like a beard). Sometimes I just want to give in, and say “forget it all” ,but I really need to change my overall health. I can suffer from diabetes if I do not do so. Plus I will actually like to feel good in my body for once.

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I am also doing alternative day fasting at this moment for my health. I been doing alot of research, and decided to take this step. Before I get into a full on 7 day Broth fast. Which I’ll be doing before the new years.

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I will also be working out, and recording them on YouTube soon.

 

Have any questions or advice please leave a comment…… Thank You

 

Love

 

Darvia Jones

anxiety

My anxiety comes from the fear of being judge, always wanting to be accepted by others, and me needing to make sure that everyone is please.  Trying to impress them, even if I know they do not like me.

ANXIETY
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As I lightly mention in my last post, I have anxiety. My anxiety is so bad that I almost have anxiety attack lying down. Which I hate because I can be laying in bad trying to go to sleep and something will pop in my head. Like the time I use to get bullied, or will some said something to me at work and I didn’t say anything back.  All that stuff just makes me feel depressed a lot of the time. I just want to run away, and be on my own.I am saving up money to travel places I never been now. I can’t wait to get out this environment because,  I feel like it’s holding me back. I know I can’t run away from my thoughts, but I feel like if I was somewhere different I wouldn’t have these thoughts. I hope my anxiety do not keep me from doing that because, I always turn down things just thinking what others will think or say. This me now putting it in writing that it’s a for sure thing that I will do the things that makes me happy from here on out.

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What’s A Wallflower……

“A person who has no one to dance with or who feels shy, awkward, or excluded at a party.”(Introvert)

I describe myself as a wallflower because, I Found it hard to make friends growing up. I was and still am quiet but, not so quiet as I use to be. So, I never had friends other than the people who use to get what they needed from me, and act like I did not exist. Me not being able to communicate well with others because, of my shyness left me alone most of the time. You might find this crazy like most, but I love being alone anyways. I am a socially awkward person in general, so I am sorry for the people who met me. I Literally have no expression looking at everyone straight in the face. It’s so weird because I’ll keep looking in at whoever face it might be, until that person gets irritated with my existence. Sorry guys, I been working on it, I have nothing against you or nothing to say.

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I never get invited to things because the lack of no friends. And if I do get invited out, I always make up excuse not to go out…. interest, right? Me wondering why I do not have any friends. Sometimes my anxiety just won’t let me to be honest…. taking total control of my life worrying about how others see me. Which stops all the fun and I got back into my corner and start writing (poetry, short stories) or just making plans for my life doing the next months. I know my anxiety stop me from succeeding in life, because I make those plans and never come through on most. 

I always feel excluded from everything, that just left me to start to just exclude myself., being a middle child, it seems like I never get notices. Sometimes neutral family members forget I exist. crazy right?… but they always remember my sister and brother. My sister always been the life of the party, and sometimes I feel like I must compete with her. I just stop caring and showing up since no one really cared if I was there or not. I enjoy my solitude, and find it more peaceful to be alone, then to be around people who makes me uncomfortable.

I am just learning to start loving myself, and accepting who I am. Hopefully I can run into a good friend, and stop pushing people away.

Love

Darvia Jones

Self Acceptance

I always been a quiet person which made me an easy target to pick on in elementary school. Which led to me getting forgotten about most of the time even by family members. I always wanted to be the popular girl when I was in school, I mean who didn’t.  I will always give the popular girls my snacks and let them copy my work, so they will like me. They just use me and start talking about me calling me names (dirty,ugly, etc.) sometimes I would cry. I never told anyone about me getting bullied in school because, I just didn’t want to bother others with my problems. Which is crazy to say been a kid, right?

Now I know that been popular does not matter. I wish I would have known this when I was a kid in elementary school. Maybe I’ll be different or maybe I wouldn’t who know. I’m a big introvert who like to be alone, always thinking,writing, and reading. I used to hide who I was just to fit in with family members and kids at school, but that’s enough. I’m just going to be true to myself, let my weirdness shine through and embrace my awkwardness. Because I know that being me is probably the best thing I can be.

Learning to accept myself is step one.  SELF-LOVE


“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” 

Amy Bloom

Love

Darvia Jones